Distance.

This is the year of running. Now I get why people wax poetic over this sport.  I learned how to push myself past my physical limits and discovered that the limits are self constructs. I can do it.

I am more patient and forgiving of my own failures.

I know there is a finish line,  and I can make it no matter what.  I will cross that line when I’m good and ready.

I am my own competition.  Any improvement and decline about my performance is of my own doing.

Running gives you back exactly how much you’ve put in.

You may run with friends,  but in the end it is you who crosses the line.

You will never wear the finisher’s shirt unless you are one.

You learn to push yourself harder, and want to.

Last 10k of 2013

Look what I got in the mail! This rounds up my participation in all three Run United events of this year. I got all three race shirts, and pushed myself out of the 5k zone and into 10k.

To be honest, I slacked off in August and Im starting to get worried about my prep work for October. I know I’ll make it, I don’t question that. What I am getting upset over is that I should’ve trained more.

Ive been reading up on Murakami’s musings over running and I can relate to some of his opinions. One thing that made me think was, What do you think about when running?”

That stopped me. For him, running was zen time where the silence is welcome. For me it was different.

I pray and talk to God on those journeys, and many of our fruitful conversations happen. I think of thr pain in my joints, the sweat popping off my pores, my heart beating like a drum, and I think, Lord this is nothing compared to being nailed on the cross, I would think. I had no excuse to whine, and I keep on going.

Run in the dark of night. Finish at the break of day.

Finished my first 10k yesterday!

I feel wildly accomplished.

Despite having four 5ks under my belt, and one 10k, I find it hard to associate “being a runner”. I have this weird sense that being a runner is part of an elite club of people who watch their diet, have expensive gear and keep spreadsheets of their performance. I didn’t associate being one until a friend ofine said “well, you’re a runner,” as part of normal conversation. That stopped me in my tracks. I felt the sentence almost form right after that, “I’m not a runner!” but I stopped myself.

Yes, I am a runner. I am starting to geek out over personal records, running gear and cross training. I am being careful with my meals because all the extra baggage won’t help my speed.

What I learned: it truly is a mental sport. If you are lucky enough, you train with a buddy, but for the most part you train on your own. You are only as fast as your body can take you. And even if your body can make it, if your head isn’t in the game, you won’t get to the finish line. Solo runs place you inside your head: with music, podcasts, news. Your body becomes a machine. You hear your heart thump like an engine, hear your lungs take in breath to fuel your heart and feed your blood stream.

It is (fairly) cheap: your only investment is a decent pair of running shoes. Granted once you do this often enough, your tastes begin to differ (I have caught myself looking at the difference between one tread to another, and testing shoe weights).

It is a lonely sport, and can be easily boring if you run begrudgingly as part of a weightloss regime. If this is just cardio for you, then put in thirty minutes and you’re done. I am still running because I am exercising my mind to get over the whining over pain: shut up and run. It is a test of strength and endurance. How far can I take this?

I went to my 10k on my own. I don’t have running friends to go and the 5am start time was too early for anyone. I asked a friendly stranger to take my finish line photo. My sister picked me up and we had breakfast on the way home. To many, yesterday was just another Sunday.

To me, yesterday was a milestone.

I am a runner.